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How to Marry Your Goals in 4 Steps

Over the past weekend, I shared with my social media community how I reached my goal of losing 20 pounds in one year without doing anything drastic. I learned a thing or two throughout this personal challenge that I believe can benefit you if you are working towards achieving a particular goal.

First, we need to confront certain mindsets that can stand in the way of us achieving our goals.


Visiting your goals is when you set up the goal, get all excited about it, and start working on it, but at the first sign or signs of difficulty, you get discouraged and put it aside. In your planning, you didn’t take into account the inevitable challenges and obligations that come with any goal, and as a result, you failed to prepare yourself mentally, emotionally, and financially to confront them. So when they showed up, you put your goal aside and told yourself you would come back to it, but here we are at the end of July, and you haven’t touched that project since February.


Dating your goals goes a little deeper than visiting. You are actually committed to your goal. You set it, made a solid plan, followed it, and started making slow progress, but once the nitty gritty aspects start showing up like a defiant toddler throwing tantrums at you, your level of commitment starts going down. Anyone who has dealt with a toddler going through their terrible 2 and 3 knows they are not for the faint of heart, but still, it's part of the growth process. So you need to hang in there.

a black woman sticking post it on a clear board smiling with a man in the back looking at her smiling


That’s the mindset we all should have towards our goals. Marrying your goals is applying the same tenacity and commitment you would in a long-term relationship. Despite the highs and lows that come with the journey, you commit yourself to your goals because you know the feeling of joy and fulfillment that awaits you on the other side of the journey.

a man raising his arms in a winning position

Now that you know what mindset you need to have when approaching your goals, let me give you FOUR QUICK STEPS that I have been using to reach my goals:

  1. Have a realistic goal. My goal was to lose 10 pounds by the end of 2022 and another 10 pounds by June 2023. I gave myself a realistic goal within a specific timeframe. Some of you are getting discouraged because you are trying to run a marathon when you should be focusing on strengthening your baby steps.

  2. Have a plan that doesn't only include ways to reach your goal. It also needs to take into account the potential obstacles and challenges that may arise, so that if or when they show up, you can be mentally, emotionally, and financially ready to address them. Today, I shared the following statement on social media: "Our goals can be our greatest source of joy, but can also be our greatest source of pain..." Most people don't give up after visiting or dating their goal because the goal or the plan wasn't good; they give up because they are caught off-guard by some obstacles and challenges.

  3. Be committed to your goal. Not sure how? Go read the paragraph "Marrying your goals".

  4. Celebrate your small progress or victories. You need to be your loudest cheerleader in your journey. On the week I lost 1 or 2 pounds, I still celebrated myself because slow progress is still progress.

That's all for today, Beautiful People. I hope you enjoy reading this blog as much as I enjoyed writing it. To show your encouragement, do me a favor, please "Like", "Comment" and "Share" it with someone who might benefit from the value shared.

Until next time,


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