Saved... But Emotionally Immature!

Let me say something we probably don’t talk about enough in the Church:

Being a Christian doesn’t mean you automatically have a high EQ.

Yes, you can pray.

You can fast.

You can know Scripture.

You can love God deeply.

And still need to work on how you understand your emotions, manage your reactions, communicate with people, handle conflict, and empathize with what someone else may be experiencing.

Because Christianity doesn’t exempt us from intentionally developing emotional intelligence.

So, What Is EQ?

EQ stands for Emotional Intelligence.

It’s the ability to recognize and understand your own emotions, manage them appropriately, and recognize and respond wisely to others' emotions. Can you understand what you’re feeling without allowing every feeling to control your behavior? And equally important, can you recognize what someone else may be experiencing and respond accordingly? Because you can be right about something and still handle the other person poorly.

Food for Thought:

*You can have good intentions and still lack emotional awareness.

*You can even quote the right Bible verse at the wrong moment.

That’s why empathy is important and needs to be part of the conversation.

One of the greatest examples of empathy was demonstrated by Jesus.

When Jesus arrived after Lazarus died, He already knew what He was going to do. He knew Lazarus was about to walk out of that tomb. He knew death wasn’t going to have the final word. He knew their mourning was about to turn into celebration. Yet when He encountered Mary and the people around her grieving, He didn’t rush them through their emotions simply because He knew something they didn’t.

Actually, Jesus wept - see John 11:35.

Even though He knew the outcome, He still acknowledged their present pain. That’s EQ!

Sometimes, we become so focused on responding or reacting to people that we fail to recognize what they need from us in the moment.

Sometimes they don’t need our sermon yet.

Sometimes they don’t need our solution yet.

Sometimes they need to know:

“I see you.

This is why I don’t believe emotional intelligence should be treated as something “worldly” that Christians don’t need. Our spiritual growth should become visible in our emotional maturity because being a Christian doesn’t automatically make our EQ high.

There are still: behaviors to unlearn... Reactions to examine... Communication skills to develop... Triggers to understand... Empathy to practice... And sometimes an apology to give.

Could it be that you have reached a season where you need to develop your EQ by asking yourself: "How emotionally intelligent am I in the way I deal with the people God has placed around me?" Because while knowing the Word of God is important, praying is important, fasting is important, but so is learning how to deal with people. And sometimes, one of the greatest demonstrations of spiritual maturity isn’t how loudly we pray; it’s how wisely we respond.

Until next time,

Emma Poin Du Jour

Kingdom Mindset Speaker & Blogger

P.S. This Blog is followed by a subsequent blog with questions to help you determine how high your EQ really is. I strongly encourage you to meditate and to answer those questions honestly.